Mad King Thorn

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Disambig icon.png This article is about the one and only Mad King. For the actors, see "Mad King Thorn".
Spoiler alert: The following text contains spoilers relating to Living World Season 1, Living World Season 4, and The Icebrood Saga.

Never kill people unless that's part of the joke.

Mad King Thorn

Mad King Oswald Thorn was a human monarch who ruled Kryta in the ninth century AE. He is famed for his lethal lunacy, which he has kept up after his death when he returned as the powerful spirit of Halloween. Thorn rules the Mad King's Realm and has an intense rivalry with his son, Bloody Prince Edrick Thorn, as well as Palawa Joko.

History[edit]

Early years[edit]

King of Kryta[edit]

Prince Oswald Thorn was born in Kryta in the eighth century AE. Already showing early signs of sociopathy,[1] he became a prolific prankster and troublemaker. During a visit of diplomats from Elona, Oswald met with the diplomat's son Palawa Joko. Viewing the young Thorn ripping wings off of flies as amateurish for not utilizing torture to its fullest extent, Joko secretly taught Oswald what creatures would survive torture and be of use afterwards, suggesting that Oswald should direct his sadism towards his servants instead. The young prince challenged Joko to a pun contest much to the latter's horror, and the pranks escalated into a clash between the two youths, the first battle to take place between the future lich king and Mad King.[2]

After Joko's visit, Oswald became responsible for the deaths of both Serene and Samson through negligence, but as a second son he was not expected to ascend to the throne. Nevertheless he schemed his way to the throne, murdering his well-liked elder brother Prince Ewan Thorn and later, his father (but not before taking his brother's betrothed, Lady Lyrica, as his wife, and having her assassinated). While growing up, Thorn proved he had a strong command of magic, and his will alone was enough to make him a very dangerous foe.[1]

Oswald Thorn's first act as king was to execute Lord Humphrey Faren for accusing him of murdering his father, and he declared that all traitors would be punished without delay. Early in his reign, he proposed a treaty to the centauran tribes, but the centaurs rejected its terms as unfavorable. Later, famine and drought struck Kryta, but the high taxes drove some peasants to theft and others to starvation. King Thorn rounded up all citizens who were even suspected of theft and cut off their hands.[3] He kidnapped Seamarshal Bennu, the father of the Istani Princess Zola, and ransomed him for her hand in marriage. He had Zola burned alive when he grew tired of her, however, sparking a war with Istan (in which Kryta was ultimately victorious).[4]

As king, Oswald had eight wives in total; the other known wives include Estrella, who was killed by Oswald when he put her in a coffin full of rats and dumped it into the sea, and Henrietta, who was killed by his heir, Prince Edrick Thorn. There was also Edrick's mother, whose name is still unknown, who was beheaded on his birthday.[5] Oswald viewed his son to be a disappointment, and after a failed coup attempt from Prince Edrick on the final night of Oswald's rule, the Mad King stuffed Edrick's mouth with candy corn and had him locked in the Shell of Insanity.

The tyranny of Mad King Thorn came to an end in approximately 825 AE when an angry mob stormed Castle Thorn, ending his earthly rule. The rebels intended to kill Oswald's eighth wife and son as well during the assault, ending the Thorn dynasty, and beseech his cousin to take the throne and plead forgiveness. Worried that the Mad King would try to return using his magic, his killers hid his body parts in boxes and buried them in locations scattered across Tyria, obscuring their locations with magical seals.[1][6]

King of the Mad Realm[edit]

Although unable to return to Tyria due to the seals (except at Halloween, at which he would make an annual appearance), Thorn rose to notoriety within the Underworld, coming to rule a sub-realm of his own after conquering it.[7] In 1079 AE, the ascension of Queen Salma to the throne of Kryta broke one of the seals, and Thorn's Lunatic Court set about attempting to break the rest of them, so that the Mad King may become as powerful in Tyria as he was in the Underworld. A selection of artifacts from Thorn's life was gathered, and a suitable vessel for his spirit was obtained from a mausoleum.

The political climate was also prepared for the Mad King's return, inciting his arch-rival Palawa Joko into swearing to "flood valleys and enslave nations" to get his vengeance on Tyria. Meanwhile, Thorn's minions defeated Qwytzylkak, the only being capable of telling as good jokes as the Mad King. The rivalry between Mad King Thorn and Joko led to the Battle of Scarred Psyche in which Thorn was ultimately victorious much to Joko's dismay.

Thorn's courtiers tried to sway the ghost of Zola to travel to Kryta so she would be present upon Thorn's impending arrival as the king needed a queen by his side and Zola's presence would act as a beacon for his soul. After the Mad King's followers had assisted Zola in getting rid of her ghostly suitors who tried to keep her in Istan, she vehemently declared that she would eagerly travel to Kryta in order to welcome Thorn if he returned to life; however, she would only do so in order to personally kill Thorn and send him back to Grenth's waiting arms as revenge for what the Mad King had done to her. Despite Zola's declaration, the Lunatic Court believed that the long trip to Kryta would calm her down and light the fire of love in her heart once more.[4]

Despite these victories, the Lunatic Court suffered a setback: the rituals had not freed King Thorn but his favored steed, Mister Gum Drops, instead. Palawa Joko's minions attempted to hunt down Thorn's returned pony, but the courtiers managed to thwart their attempts although they had difficulty tracking down the invisible pony which only Thorn himself could see. The courtiers returned to the drawing board chastened although they found solace in the fact that their rituals to free the Mad King might succeed now that they had proof that the rituals had weakened the barriers between realms enough to let the steed through.[8]

Living World Season 1[edit]

Mad King Thorn breaches the Grand Piazza in Lion's Arch.

After his court's failure, the Mad King's influence was not felt for a long time, and he became a folk legend used to scare children with. However, in 1325 AE, over two centuries after his court's failure, King Thorn made a dramatic return. He shattered the Lion's Court in the Grand Piazza of Lion's Arch and assaulted the citizens with insidious pranks and terrible jokes, intending to break free into Tyria. His return was opposed by Magister Tassi, and foiled by heroes who ventured straight into the Mad King's realm and defeated him in his own game as well as in battle. Despite his initial defeat, the Mad King would continue visiting Lion's Arch every Halloween and only resort to less lethal pranks on the festive citizens while making them play "Your Mad King Says" with him.

In 1326 AE, Prince Edrick attempted to break into Tyria only to be sealed again with candy corn. Despite his failed escape attempt, the Bloody Prince successfully recruited various denizens of the Mad Realm to his side and made them fight a war against the Mad King's minions while father and son continued their quarrel in the center of the Mad King's Labyrinth.[5] Since Drooburt's Ghost first appeared in Lion's Arch, Thorn befriended the quaggan and invited him for a walk whenever the two crossed paths.

Living World Season 4[edit]

Following Palawa Joko's demise in 1331 AE, Brigadier General Kernel and the Pact Commander schemed to gather real and fabricated spoils of war from Elona to fool Thorn into thinking that Kernel's forces had merely forced the lich king to retreat. Should the Mad King ever learn that his archrival had been killed without his permission, his tantrum would be legendary and deadly to behold even on his already high mad standards.

The Icebrood Saga[edit]

After getting rid of his writer's block in 1333 AE, the famous charr author Snargle Goldclaw wrote a novel called Heart of Thorn about a fictionalized triangle drama between Mad King Thorn, the Grand High Viscount of Candy Corn, and one of Thorn's wives called Priscilla Sarsaparilla Barbarella Thorn. Given Snargle's tendency to embellish his writing and use different names for real people in his novels, it is unknown how accurate the novel's depiction and name of Thorn's heretofore unknown wife is.

Locations[edit]

This NPC only appears during Halloween.

Ascalon
Kryta
Maguuma Jungle
Shiverpeak Mountains
The Mists

Event involvement[edit]

Event pumpkin (map icon).png Your Mad King says... (80)
Historical events
Event pumpkin (map icon).png Paranormal Disturbance Zone (1)

Combat abilities[edit]

Abilities
  • Tricks and Treats
Behavior
  • Briefly gains Determined and teleports away once health reaches 75% and 25%.
Effects

DefianceDefiance bar teal.png

  • Determined.png Determined - Determined to survive and immune to damage.
Skills
  • Candy Corn Slice - Swings his sword, causing three candy corn colored waves to fly out
  • Mad Moon Toss - Bounces his shield off players, inflicting random conditions
  • Night Slash - Part of auto-attack [verification requested]
  • Pumpkin Bombs - AoE attack that causes knockback
  • Scarecrow - Plants a scarecrow, which periodically causes enemies in range to be given the Slash (bird).png Crows effect, and inflicts Fear when destroyed
Stolen skills

Dialogue[edit]

For previous quotes, see here.

Lion's Arch[edit]

At Trader's Forum:

Mad King Thorn: Hey, I see a lot of weapons down there. Are you planning a revolt? Against me? (laugh) Well, you are all pretty revolting! (maniacal laughter)
Mad King Thorn: (laugh)
Mad King Thorn: I'd like to take a nice vacation down to Arah. Go swimming, get some sun. You know, work on my Zhai-tan?
Mad King Thorn: (laugh)
Mad King Thorn: I'm so disappointed that the dwarves have disappeared. I had so many good jokes about short things. And beards.
Mad King Thorn: (laugh)
Mad King Thorn: What do you call a human wearing a charr suit? No... Wait for it... A CHARR-lantern.
Mad King Thorn: (laugh)
Mad King Thorn: How did the bear ruin the picnic? He ate five people and all the pot.
Mad King Thorn: (laugh)
Drooburt's Ghost: Do you have anything to spare for quaggan?
Mad King Thorn: Oh, it's you, you insatiable mendicant! For the last time, I have nothing for you to drink.
Drooburt's Ghost: Please, quaggan needs only a little more.
Mad King Thorn: You bottomless bipedal beluga, I'd strangle you if somebody hadn't already beat me to it!
Drooburt's Ghost: Fooooooooo...
Mad King Thorn: Aw, I can't stay mad at you, you tubby little tippler. Come, let us eat a few villagers and terrorize a few fish!

At Fort Marriner:

Mad King Thorn: (evil laughter)
Mad King Thorn: Nice statue you have here, Gnashblade. It would be such a shame if something nasty were to happen to it.
Captain Evon Gnashblade: Just keep your hands off it.
Mad King Thorn: Or else?
Captain Evon Gnashblade: Or else I'll eat all this candy corn and tell your son where to find you.
Mad King Thorn: How dare you threaten me! You're speaking to a king! I've no interest in your brittle, relatively unguarded statue...
Captain Evon Gnashblade: He's going to blow it up. He just can't help himself. I'm sure of it.

Outside of cities[edit]

Mad King Thorn: By the ghost of me, what is this?
Mad King Thorn: I leave for a couple hundred years, and I come back to this? Have you completely forgotten whom you celebrate?
Mad King Thorn: This feeble imposter is a disgrace. I don't putter about telling poorly-constructed nursery rhymes. Insulting!
Mad King Thorn: He doesn't even look like me. His head isn't on fire! This oversight must be rectified! Set him on fire!

("Mad King Thorn" is set on fire.)

Mad King Thorn: Sad, sad people of Tyria, clearly you have missed my influence.
Mad King Thorn: But fear not, for I, the mighty and benevolent King Thorn of Kryta, have returned!

(Mad King Thorn will tell three jokes from above, each related to the location he's at.)

Caledon Forest
Mad King Thorn: It seems the sylvari are here to stay. As no one has nipped them in the BUD, I must assume they're all of good STALK. Maybe they'll GROW on me. (laugh) Plant puns, people, please!
Mad King Thorn: What do you call a sylvari who's round and green? MELON-y! You know, like the name, but also the fruit? Why aren't you all laughing? The, the melon, Melony...Laugh! Or I'll kill every last one of you humorless worms!
Mad King Thorn: Two quaggans were walking in a cow pasture. The first turns to the second and says, "Foo." The other replies, "Cows say moo." The first looks down at his flippers and says, "No, foo. Poo." (snicker)
Metrica Province
Mad King Thorn: I hear—oh, this is a good one—I hear the mortality rate for hylek is very high. They croak every night! (laugh)
Mad King Thorn: At the Durmand Priory, what is an asura's best friend? A bookah.
Mad King Thorn: What do you say when an asura praises you? No one knows yet. (chuckle) Right?
Plains of Ashford
Mad King Thorn: Here's a funny story. Recently, one of my vassals said to me, "Your Majesty! I can't feel my legs!" And I replied, "Of course, you can't, stubby. I cut your arms off!" And I had! (laugh)
Mad King Thorn: Were you aware that grawl have engineers? It's true. I hear one of them invented a new gadget called a "stick."
Mad King Thorn: The other night, a charr warrior told me everything he knew. It took about ten seconds.
Queensdale
Mad King Thorn: I paid a visit to Ascalon before coming here, and I'm not judging—but did shaving go out of style or what?
Mad King Thorn: I'm so disappointed that the dwarves have disappeared. I had so many good jokes about short things. And beards.
Mad King Thorn: Why can't you borrow money from a dwarf? Because they're always a little short. Ha! Get it? Ha ha! Ah, yes, I miss dwarves.
Wayfarer Foothills
Mad King Thorn: I was confused when a servant informed me of the dredge revolt in the Shiverpeaks. As far as I'm aware, dredge have always been revolting! Get it? Ugly bugly! Hoo! (laugh) They're ugly.
Mad King Thorn: What's the fastest way to anger a norn? Tell her you've never heard of her. Ahh, it's funny because it's true. (laugh)
Mad King Thorn: What's a norn's favorite drink? The next one! (laugh) They're all drunk.

(After the jokes)

Mad King Thorn: Loyal subjects! How can I leave you? My royal heart would be breaking if I still had one.

Lunatic Inquisition[edit]

If character is on the Lunatic Court team
Ah, my fine courtier. How very nice to see you. You were always my favorite, you know. Be a good subject and recruit a few villagers for me.
Talk end option tango.png On my way.
If character is on the Villager team
What are you doing here? Don't you know there's a feast on? Main course: you! RUN!
Talk end option tango.png Running!

Gallery[edit]

Related achievements[edit]

Notes[edit]

  • Originally, Mad King Thorn appeared outside of the Mists only on Halloween day. The change is referenced by Bruce the Herald.

Trivia[edit]

See also[edit]

Gwwlogo.png The Guild Wars Wiki has an article on Mad King Thorn.
Associated items

External links[edit]

References[edit]

  1. ^ a b c TowerTalk Lore Special: The Mad King and his Son
  2. ^ Private Property of P.I. Joko
  3. ^ Cashel
  4. ^ a b Til Death Do Us Part...
    Zola: Very good! I can see why my deranged, good-for-nothing ex-husband has you running around as his little errand monkey.
    Zola: Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to head to Kryta.
    Zola: If that screwy, delinquent husband of mine is coming back as a mortal, I want to be the first in line to send him right back into Grenth's waiting arms!
    Emissary of King Thorn of Kryta: Oh yes, I was expecting the queen to be...surprised by our request. Don't you worry, I'm sure the trip to Kryta will give her time to cool off. Once she sees her beloved husband's regal visage I'm sure it will light the fire of love in her heart once more.
  5. ^ a b Mad King's Labyrinth ambient dialogue
  6. ^ Wynn
  7. ^ Lunatic Boatmaster
  8. ^ Mad Little Pony
    Emissary of King Thorn of Kryta: Of all the worst possible things that could happen, this is... The. Worst. Possible. Thing! The rituals we've been doing to break the seals on King Thorn, they've broken the seals on the royal pony pen instead! Gum Drops, our lord's most mighty invisible steed, has broken into the mortal realm! If I don't find him and return him to our liege post-haste, my pumpkin head will be baked with cinnamon and nutmeg! Nutmeg! Can you...nay, you MUST help me locate this royal steed before it gets into trouble or worse, gets caught by that scoundrel Palawa Joko! If I know Gum Drops, he'll head straight through Turai's Procession on his way to the Bone Palace. King Thorn has specifically trained him to seek and destroy anything that smells like mummy. [...]
    Emissary of King Thorn of Kryta: Since only King Thorn can see Gum Drops, we'll need to rely on this sensor created by the maddest scientists of the Lunatic Court.
    Emissary of King Thorn of Kryta: It detects the level of "peripheral pony particles," or PON-3, in the air and gives us an approximation of the location of the eminent equine.
    Emissary of King Thorn of Kryta: I'll follow you and let you know if we are getting close. Hurry, we have to find Gum Drops before Palawa Joko finds out he's here. [...]
    Emissary of King Thorn of Kryta: Well, that was close. If Joko had gotten his decaying hands on Gum Drops, he'd have turned him into invisible glue! However, I suppose that accidentally releasing Gum Drops wasn't entirely bad. I mean, I'm no mathemagician, but if the rituals we were performing set the pony free, they are definitely having an effect on the boundaries between our worlds. Clearly, we need to double the ingredients in the rituals. Or maybe double the number of worshipers. It's got to be one of those. Here, just take your reward and enjoy the festivities; I've got doubling of some sort to do.