Mad King Thorn

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Disambig icon.png This article is about the one and only Mad King. For the actors, see "Mad King Thorn".
Spoiler alert: The following text contains spoilers relating to the story of Guild Wars 2.

The Mad King has returned! Long live the king!

— Mad King Thorn

Mad King Oswald Thorn was a human monarch who ruled Kryta in the ninth century AE, famed for his lethal lunacy, which he kept up after his death when he returned as the powerful spirit of Halloween.

History[edit]

Early years[edit]

Prince Oswald thorn was born in Kryta in the eighth century AE, and became a prolific prankster and troublemaker. During a visit of diplomats from Elona, Oswald met with the diplomat's son Palawa Joko. Viewing the young Thorn ripping wings off of flies as amateurish for not utilizing torture to its fullest extent, Joko secretly taught Oswald what creatures would survive torture and be of use afterwards, suggesting that Oswald should direct his sadism towards his servants instead. The young prince challenged Joko to a pun contest much to the latter's horror, and the pranks escalated into a clash between the two youths, the first battle to take place between the future lich king and Mad King.[1]

After Joko's visit, Oswald became responsible for the deaths of both Serene and Samson through negligence, but as a second son he was not expected to ascend to the throne. Nevertheless he schemed his way to the throne, murdering his well-liked elder brother Prince Ewan Thorn and later, his father (but not before taking his brother's betrothed, Lady Lyrica, as his wife, and having her assassinated).

Oswald Thorn's first act as king was to execute Lord Humphrey Faren for accusing him of murdering his father, declaring all traitors would be punished without delay. Early in his reign, he proposed a treaty to the centauran tribes, but the centaurs rejected its terms as unfavorable. Later, famine and drought struck Kryta, but the high taxes drove some peasants to theft and others to starvation. King Thorn rounded up all citizens who were even suspected of theft and cut off their hands.[2] He kidnapped Seamarshal Bennu, the father of the Istani Princess Zola and ransomed him for her hand in marriage, but had Zola executed when he grew tired of her, sparking a war with Istan (in which Kryta was ultimately victorious).

As king, Oswald had eight wives in total; the other known wives include Estrella, who was killed by Oswald when he put her in a coffin full of rats and dumped it into the sea, and Henrietta, who was killed by his heir, Prince Edrick. There was also Edrick's mother, whose name is still unknown, who was beheaded on his birthday.[3] Oswald viewed his son to be a disappointment, and after a failed coup attempt on the final night of his rule, stuffed his son's mouth with candy corn and had him locked in the Shell of Insanity.

The tyranny of Mad King Thorn came to an end in approximately 825 AE when an angry mob stormed Castle Thorn, ending his earthly rule.[4] The rebels intended to kill his eighth wife and son as well during the assault, ending the Thorn dynasty, and beseech his cousin to take the throne and plead forgiveness. Worried that the Mad King would try to return using his magic, his killers hid his body parts in boxes and buried them in locations scattered across Tyria, obscuring their locations with magical seals.

Although unable to return to Tyria due to the seals (except at Halloween, at which he would make an annual appearance), Thorn rose to notoriety within the Underworld, coming to rule a sub-realm of his own after conquering it.[5] In 1079 AE, the ascension of Queen Salma to the throne of Kryta broke one of the seals, and Thorn's Lunatic Court set about attempting to break the rest of them, so that he may be as powerful in Tyria as he was in the Underworld. A selection of artifacts from his life was gathered, and a suitable vessel for his spirit was obtained from a mausoleum. The political climate was also prepared for the Mad King's return, inciting his arch-rival Palawa Joko into swearing to "flood valleys and enslave nations" to get his vengeance on Tyria, and Thorn's minions defeating the only being capable of telling as good a joke as the Mad King, Qwytzylkak. The rivalry between Mad King Thorn and Joko led to the Battle of Scarred Psyche in which Thorn was ultimately victorious much to Joko's dismay. Despite these victories, the Lunatic Court suffered a setback: the rituals had not freed King Thorn but his favored steed, Mister Gum Drops, and they returned to the drawing board chastened.

Modern developments[edit]

After his court's failure, the Mad King's influence was not felt for a long time, and he became a folk legend used to scare children. However, in 1325 AE, over two centuries after his court's failure, the Mad King made a dramatic return. He shattered the Lion's Court in the Grand Piazza of Lion's Arch and assaulted the citizens with insidious pranks and terrible jokes, intending to break free into Tyria. His return was opposed by Magister Tassi, and foiled by heroes who ventured straight into the Mad King's realm and defeated him in his own game as well as in battle.

In 1326 AE, Prince Edrick attempted to break into Tyria only to be sealed again with candy corn. Despite his failed escape attempt, the Bloody Prince successfully recruited various denizens of the Mad Realm to his side and made them fight a war against the Mad King's minions while father and son continued their quarrel in the center of the Mad King's Labyrinth.[3] Since Drooburt's Ghost first appeared in Lion's Arch, Thorn befriended the quaggan and invited him for a walk whenever the two crossed paths.

Following Palawa Joko's demise in 1331 AE, Brigadier General Kernel and the Pact Commander schemed to gather real and fabricated spoils of war from Elona to fool Thorn into thinking that Kernel's forces had merely fought Joko and forced the lich king to retreat. Should the Mad King ever learn that his archrival had been killed without his permission, his tantrum would be legendary and deadly to behold even on his already high mad standards.

Locations[edit]

This NPC only appears during Halloween.

Ascalon
Kryta
Maguuma Jungle
Shiverpeak Mountains
The Mists

Event involvement[edit]

Event pumpkin (map icon).png
Your Mad King says... (80)
Historical events
Event pumpkin (map icon).png
Paranormal Disturbance Zone (1)

Combat abilities[edit]

Abilities
  • Tricks and Treats
Behavior
  • Briefly gains Determined and teleports away once health reaches 75% and 25%.
Effects
  • Determined.png Determined - Determined to survive and immune to damage.
Skills
  • Candy Corn Slice - Swings his sword, causing three candy corn coloured waves to fly out
  • Mad Moon Toss - Bounces his shield off players, inflicting random conditions
  • Night Slash - Part of auto-attack [verification requested]
  • Pumpkin Bombs - AoE attack that causes knockback
  • Scarecrow - Plants a scarecrow, which periodically causes enemies in range to be attacked by ravens and inflicts Fear when destroyed
Stolen skills

Dialogue[edit]

For previous quotes, see here.

Lion's Arch[edit]

At Trader's Forum:

Drooburt's Ghost: Do you have anything to spare for quaggan?
Mad King Thorn: Oh, it's you, you insatiable mendicant! For the last time, I have nothing for you to drink.
Drooburt's Ghost: Please, quaggan needs only a little more.
Mad King Thorn: You bottomless bipedal beluga, I'd strangle you if somebody hadn't already beat me to it!
Drooburt's Ghost: Fooooooooo...
Mad King Thorn: Aw, I can't stay mad at you, you tubby little tippler. Come, let us eat a few villagers and terrorize a few fish!

At Fort Marriner:

Mad King Thorn: (evil laughter)
Mad King Thorn: Nice statue you have here, Gnashblade. It would be such a shame if something nasty were to happen to it.
Captain Evon Gnashblade: Just keep your hands off it.
Mad King Thorn: Or else?
Captain Evon Gnashblade: Or else I'll eat all this candy corn and tell your son where to find you.
Mad King Thorn: How dare you threaten me! You're speaking to a king! I've no interest in your brittle, relatively unguarded statue...
Captain Evon Gnashblade: He's going to blow it up. He just can't help himself. I'm sure of it.

Outside of cities[edit]

Mad King Thorn: By the ghost of me, what is this?
Mad King Thorn: I leave for a couple hundred years, and I come back to this? Have you completely forgotten whom you celebrate?
Mad King Thorn: This feeble imposter is a disgrace. I don't putter about telling poorly-constructed nursery rhymes. Insulting!
Mad King Thorn: He doesn't even look like me. His head isn't on fire! This oversight must be rectified! Set him on fire!

"Mad King Thorn" is set on fire.

Mad King Thorn: Sad, sad people of Tyria, clearly you have missed my influence.
Mad King Thorn: But fear not, for I, the mighty and benevolent King Thorn of Kryta, have returned!

Mad King Thorn will tell three jokes from above, each related to the location he's at.

Caledon Forest
Mad King Thorn: It seems the sylvari are here to stay. As no one has nipped them in the BUD, I must assume they're all of good STALK. Maybe they'll GROW on me. (laugh) Plant puns, people, please!
Mad King Thorn: What do you call a sylvari who's round and green? MELON-y! You know, like the name, but also the fruit? Why aren't you all laughing? The, the melon, Melony...Laugh! Or I'll kill every last one of you humorless worms!
Mad King Thorn: Two quaggans were walking in a cow pasture. The first turns to the second and says, "Foo." The other replies, "Cows say moo." The first looks down at his flippers and says, "No, foo. Poo." (snicker)
Metrica Province
Mad King Thorn: I hear—oh, this is a good one—I hear the mortality rate for hylek is very high. They croak every night! (laugh)
Mad King Thorn: At the Durmand Priory, what is an asura's best friend? A bookah.
Mad King Thorn: What do you say when an asura praises you? No one knows yet. (chuckle) Right?
Plains of Ashford
Mad King Thorn: Here's a funny story. Recently, one of my vassals said to me, "Your Majesty! I can't feel my legs!" And I replied, "Of course, you can't, stubby. I cut your arms off!" And I had! (laugh)
Mad King Thorn: Were you aware that grawl have engineers? It's true. I hear one of them invented a new gadget called a "stick."
Mad King Thorn: The other night, a charr warrior told me everything he knew. It took about ten seconds.
Queensdale
Mad King Thorn: I paid a visit to Ascalon before coming here, and I'm not judging—but did shaving go out of style or what?
Mad King Thorn: I'm so disappointed that the dwarves have disappeared. I had so many good jokes about short things. And beards.
Mad King Thorn: Why can't you borrow money from a dwarf? Because they're always a little short. Ha! Get it? Ha ha! Ah, yes, I miss dwarves.
Wayfarer Foothills
Mad King Thorn: I was confused when a servant informed me of the dredge revolt in the Shiverpeaks. As far as I'm aware, dredge have always been revolting! Get it? Ugly bugly! Hoo! (laugh) They're ugly.
Mad King Thorn: What's the fastest way to anger a norn? Tell her you've never heard of her. Ahh, it's funny because it's true. (laugh)
Mad King Thorn: What's a norn's favorite drink? The next one! (laugh) They're all drunk.

After the jokes

Mad King Thorn: Loyal subjects! How can I leave you? My royal heart would be breaking if I still had one.

Lunatic Inquisition[edit]

If character is on the Lunatic Court team
Ah, my fine courtier. How very nice to see you. You were always my favorite, you know. Be a good subject and recruit a few villagers for me.
Talk end option tango.png
On my way.
If character is on the Villager team
What are you doing here? Don't you know there's a feast on? Main course: you! RUN!
Talk end option tango.png
Running!

Notes[edit]

  • Originally, Mad King Thorn appeared outside of the Mists only on Halloween day. The change is referenced by Bruce the Herald.

Trivia[edit]

Gwwlogo.png The Guild Wars Wiki has an article on Mad King Thorn.

Related achievements[edit]

Gallery[edit]

See also[edit]

Associated items

External links[edit]

References[edit]