To love is to want. To desire. And in spite of our differences, all Tyrians possess the appetite of desire. Love is indiscriminate in its numerous, splendorous forms. As an author, it is my duty to depict them all.
— Snargle Goldclaw
Snargle Goldclaw is a charr author of romance novels, many of which feature same-sex or interspecies relationships. He and his junior assistant Bonnie Kunderah have journeyed to the Eye of the North so Snargle can get rid of his writer's block and find inspiration for new novels.
As a charr author, Snargle Goldclaw wanted to depict love in all its forms and to make his readers understand the sensual side of romance. He believed that writing such narratives granted his readers escape from everyday life and let them find a fleeting feeling of fulfillment. Many critics and some readers found Snargle's narratives controversial and pretentious because of his focus on interspecies relationships, extensive use of purple prose, and the characters often being thin allusions to actual Tyrian people. However, the works resonated in the hearts and minds of several other readers who eagerly consumed every Goldclaw novel they could get their hands on.
Lord Faren became a notable patron, and Snargle dedicated the novel The Passions of Faren to him. One particular novel, The Ebonlocke Covenant, caused some controversy among Blood Legion authorities due to the novel depicting a thinly veiled Blood Imperator Bangar Ruinbringer stand-in having romantic feelings for the Iron Imperator Smodur the Unflinching.
In 1332 AE, Snargle and his junior assistant Bonnie Kunderah traveled to Bjora Marches in search of new topics for future novels. Bonnie acted as Snargle's chef, editor and therapist, only coming along due to wanting to learn writing craft from him. She quickly learned that Snargle had little to teach her, and she grew increasingly frustrated due to being stuck with him.
While in Bjora Marches, Snargle fell under the influence of the Elder Dragon Jormag's whispers and got lost in the Far Shiverpeaks. Before he could suffer the fates of the whispers' other victims, the champion Drakkar was slain, which in turn returned Snargle and other surviving victims to their senses. However, the side effect from being influenced by the whispers left Snargle with writer's block much to his frustration. In order to stir his imagination, he decided to travel the world with Bonnie, and ended up at the Eye of the North where they met the Pact Commander in 1333 AE.
Snargle was immediately smitten by the Commander after they had been introduced to one another. He was delighted and impressed when the Commander revealed that they had collected each of Snargle's novels to help Snargle get rid of his writer's block. In response, Snargle stated that he viewed the Commander as the champion of love and an inspiration to him and others. As a reward, he gifted the first copy of his magnum opus, Commander of Your Heart, to the Commander where he alluded to his feelings for the Commander.
- At first approach
- Snargle Goldclaw: Greeting. I'm but a humble writer of romantic literature. Snargle Goldclaw, at your service.
- Snargle Goldclaw: This is my junior assistant, Bonnie. Say hello, Bonnie.
- Bonnie Kunderah: How long are we going to be here?
- Snargle Goldclaw: (laugh) Bonnie... If there's anything we can do for you, don't hesitate to ask!
- Greetings, avid reader! How can I be of assistance? Would you like me to sign a copy of my latest bestseller? Come to hear pearls of wisdom from Tyria's most infamous storyteller? Hm?
- collected every one of your books.
- Snargle Goldclaw: I am... I'm flattered! Such fortuitous timing. It just so happens I've recently completed my final masterpiece!
- Snargle Goldclaw: Commander, I have a confession to make. From our very first encounter, I felt something special toward you.
- Snargle Goldclaw: You are the protagonist I've been searching for my entire career. You are the champion of love.
- Snargle Goldclaw: I'm honored to bestow upon you the first copy of my magnum opus.
What are you doing here?
- Snargle Goldclaw: The truth is a tad embarrassing, I'm afraid to say.
- Snargle Goldclaw: Due to abrupt and catastrophic circumstances—and to the great disappointment of my fans—I never finished my last novel...
- Bonnie Kunderah: Because you got lost in the Shiverpeaks chasing "whispers".
- Snargle Goldclaw: (clears throat) ...the consequence of which has been the affliction of terrible and perennial writer's block.
- Snargle Goldclaw: It is the struggle of every great author.
- Snargle Goldclaw: I decided a bit of traveling would stir the imagination. Perhaps I shall stumble upon...what's the word? Um—
- Bonnie Kunderah: Talent?
- Snargle Goldclaw: Serendipitous inspiration!
- Bonnie Kunderah: This place is so inspiring and not at all dreary.
- Snargle Goldclaw: Oh, I agree. Nonetheless, the creative spark eludes me. I'm still missing something crucial!
Why do so many of your books explore interspecies romance?
- Snargle Goldclaw: You're asking why I choose to write such controversial narratives.
- Snargle Goldclaw: When those who are obstinate and obsolete seek to extinguish your voice, then what you're saying must be important.
- Snargle Goldclaw: To love is to want. To desire. And in spite of our differences, all Tyrians possess the appetite of desire.
- Snargle Goldclaw: Love is indiscriminate in its numerous, splendorous forms. As an author, it is my duty to depict them all.
Are there any reviews of your work?
- Snargle Goldclaw: Well, I've been labeled salacious. Vulgar. A defiler of moral sensibilities.
- Bonnie Kunderah: Don't forget "pompous and pretentious, a writer whose prose is so purple, it'd make his frivolous characters blush."
- Snargle Goldclaw: As I've told you repeatedly, I do not consider "The Divinity Chronicle" to be a reputable journalistic estabilishment.
- Snargle Goldclaw: And—and why do you have that rubbish review memorized?
- Bonnie Kunderah: I think it's beautifully written. "Sophomoric and tedious, 'A Kralkatorrid Affair' is a narcissistic exertion in—"
- Snargle Goldclaw: Bah! Critics. What do they know?
What's your secret to writing romance?
- Snargle Goldclaw: Sensuality is the spectrum of all senses. Modern, deiscontented Tyrians only make love with their eyes.
- Snargle Goldclaw: Oh, no no no no. I want readers to gaze upon the form of "body".
- Snargle Goldclaw: The firm musculature of a charr warrior and the captivating curves of a norn.
- Snargle Goldclaw: I want them to taste every bead of sweat, to hear the tender raptures of intimaticy...
- Snargle Goldclaw: ...and feel the rhythm of their lover's heartbeat as their fingers run through their coarse fur.
- Bonnie Kunderah: Gross.
- Snargle Goldclaw: That is how I grant my readers the escape they long for...to find that fleeting feeling of fulfillment.
Bonnie said some hurtful things there. (After talking to Bonnie)
- Snargle Goldclaw: Yes, well, Bonnie's always making jokes. Friendly jovial banter, that's our relationship.
- Snargle Goldclaw: Isn't that right, Bonnie?
- (Moment of silence)
- Snargle Goldclaw: Ah, there she goes. Good fun, good fun.
- Would you look at the time...
- A Kralkatorrid Affair by Snargle Goldclaw
- Commander of Your Heart
- Destiny's Pledge by Snargle Goldclaw
- Heart of Thorn by Snargle Goldclaw
- It Takes Two To Tengu by Snargle Goldclaw
- Koss on Koss: Uncensored by Snargle Goldclaw
- Love Is Blind by Snargle Goldclaw
- Manuscript: Svan Song by Snargle Goldclaw
- Mist Connections by Snargle Goldclaw
- More Than She Bergen For
- The Ebonlocke Covenant by Snargle Goldclaw
- The Passions of Faren by Snargle Goldclaw
- Visions of the Past: Steel and Fire: Out of the Cold — Meet the infamous romance novelist Snargle Goldclaw in the Eye of the North. (1 )
- Visions of the Past: Steel and Fire: Searching for Inspiration — Find a collection of Snargle Goldclaw's books across Tyria to remind him of his literary genius and free him from his writer's block. (5)
- Jormag Rising: Steamy Selection — Find the latest masterwork by celebrated author Snargle Goldclaw. (1 )
- Snargle Goldclaw is an homage by developers Connor Fallon and Lily Yu to the Guild Wars 2 community member Monstrum27's Commander comics which follow the adventures of the Pact Commander who is depicted as an Iron Legion charr necromancer called Snargle Gutslurper.
- Snargle's voiceover dialogue was written by Kwan Perng.