Game updates/2022 April Fools

Living World

• With the End of Dragons, it's a time for new beginnings. We've been carefully watching your feedback over the past weeks, years, and decades, and we're making a big change: out with cat jokes, in with dog jokes. Look forward to more dogs, more chances to pet dogs, and as much canine humor as you can throw a stick to.
  • (Maybe some cats though; it's hard to break habits.)

World Polish

• Players will now be required to submit an authorization-of-access form to the Ministry of Transit before using a waypoint to, from, or within Canthan regions.
• Fixed a bug that caused the open-world boss of the final encounter of the Jade Sea open-world meta-event to use Breath of the Deep more frequently than intended in rare circumstances.
• Fixed an outcropping of land that was unintentionally killing players in Super Adventure Box's Tribulation Mode. We know, "how would someone even have known the difference?"
• Due to all interactable objects in the area being knocked into the sea, Cat Island has been renamed Cat Archipelago.
  • Okay, that was a cat joke. We're really trying though.
• All ambient music has been replaced by diegetic music, played by nearby bands, characters carrying boomboxes, or certain golems and mechs.

General

• Player characters now express voiced approval or dislike of the taste of consumable items. Your unique food preferences are based on your choices in character creation and the personal story.
• Added fishing locations in the River of Souls.
• Fixed a typo in the Skiff Piloting Mastery track. This will now be Skritt Piloting as intended.
• Fixed a bug that caused consumables vendors to offer asura items from their "Just For Kids!" menus. Specific wiseguys may still present this option sarcastically.
• Added
  • The fix for this update note will be coming in the next update notes.
• A future announcement will reveal the trailer release date for upcoming update notes.
  • Due to the timing of the current update notes, we'd like to apologize for our inability to announce them ahead of time.

Fractals

• Fixed a bug that enabled individuals to kill alternate versions of themselves and loot their own bodies more than once.

Personal Story

• NPCs will now nudge the commander and wink when the player encounters foreshadowing.
• Players who are found to have submitted inaccurate information on their Ministry of Transit travel documents will be assessed a fine.

Items

• Certain consumables created by chefs now require the consuming player to accept the crafter's cookie policy.
• With the reestablishment of trade with Cantha, Tyrian merchants across the continent are adjusting their prices to compete in a global market.
• Added new jade bot modules for automatically correcting armor dyes, cleaning the home instance, and gaining spontaneous self-awareness.
• Added nutrition facts to all consumable items.
• Players can now get a Turtle Egg by really, really wanting one and promising to take good care of it.
• Corrected a texture stretching issue affecting the art of Invisible Slippers, Invisible Stompers, and Invisible Boots.

Profession Skills

Elementalist

• The Ministry of Public Safety would like to firmly remind all elementalists who refuse to switch off of fire attunement that arson is classed as a felony under Imperial law.
• Fixed a bug that prevented quickly drawing and stowing fishing poles from being used in weaver skill rotations.

Engineer

• To resolve purpose overlap between the mechanist and golemancer specializations, mechanists will now need to periodically refuel their golem big robot.
• Holosmiths are being actively recruited by Xunlai Jade. Speak to your local representative to learn more about this exciting opportunity.

Guardian

• With the End of Dragons, users of the dragonhunter specialization have been retired. Selecting dragonhunter will now unlock a relaxing new set of skills, allowing the player to immerse themselves into life as a retiree.
• "Advance!" unrenamed to "Retreat!" to better reflect ideal usage of the skill.

Mesmer

• Clones now have a passive skill to vote which one they think is the real one.
• Fixed a bug that caused the skills Chaos Armor, Chaos Storm, and Winds of Chaos to behave predictably.

Necromancer

• Gaining life force or using elixirs will now trigger taste-based approval or disapproval lines, depending on the source's attributes and character's taste preferences.
• Harbingers using elixir skills in open-world maps will now have a scaling chance to receive littering notices and/or fines.

Ranger

• Bear pets can now be set to Fishing mode.
• Druids can now walk into the uncharted deep forests of the Echovald Wilds, never to return, as a special action skill.
• The Return to Me command now only affects feline pets if you have treats.
  • Our bad, that could have been a dog joke if we had tried. This is all new and confusing, please give us some time.

Revenant

• Fixed an issue that could cause vindicators to not return from their dodge-leap. Affected vindicators should return to the ground any moment now.
• In retrospect, Shiro Tagachi is starting to feel like he was a victim of numerous factors outside of his control and could use some time to unpack all of this.

Thief

• Using Steal on a character with dye items in their inventory will now automatically apply the dyes to your character.
• After a further review of the player's record, authorities in Cantha have requested the player return to Seitung Prison for questioning.

Warrior

• Warriors will now be able to maintain a balanced diet by tracking their intake of foods based on their nutrition facts, exercise regimen, and adventuring goals.
• Bladesworn characters will now begin playing their theme song when reduced to below half health.

World vs. World

• New options for victory conditions have been added. In addition to War Score, players can win skirmishes through Science Score, Culture Score, or Diplomacy Score.
• Fixed a bug that caused warclaws to sometimes run around Stonemist Castle in a panic even though you didn't hear anything.
  • Another cat joke. Why is this so difficult.
  • We're going to put these pet jokes on paws for meow and hope to impurrove in future update notes.
  • That just slipped out, we're so sorry.
• Stonemist Castle has been replaced by the Harvest Temple.

BLACK LION TRADING COMPANY GEM STORE

• Fixed an item erroneously listed as [REDACTED] Dye. It is now properly available as The Final Encounter of the Jade Sea Open-World Meta-Event Dye.
• Added a skill to the Pet Dog Whistle - Basenji to allow players to try to figure out what their basenji is gnawing on and try to gently wrestle a nonedible Junk Item from its mouth.
  • Nailed it.

External Links

• 04/01/2022—April 1 Release Notes, Guildwars2.com