The Artist's Workshop

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Biography Missed Opportunity.png

The Artist's Workshop

1325 AE
Personal story
Shadows of the Past
Sojourner's Way
(Kessex Hills)
Human tango icon 20px.png Human
Missed Opportunity
Preceded by
Biography Missed Opportunity.png Clown College
Followed by
Biography Missed Opportunity.png The Ringmaster

The Artist's Workshop is part of the personal story of human characters who chose the Missed Opportunity background and chose to tackle the inventor in his toy shop in Clown College.


The Floating Grizwhirls are made by Uzolan.

  • Travel to Uzolan's workshop.
  • Inspect the mechanical knight.
  • Defeat the carnies.
  • Speak to Uzolan.
  • Destroy Uzolan's automated defenses.
  • Destroy the rampaging toy.
  • Talk to Uzolan.


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Enter the mission, and Logan will be there, telling you that things are about to get weird. You will see a hypnotized carnival worker (clown) talking to a robot. She is invulnerable until she is finished talking, so don't fire all your shots until then. Once she isn't invulnerable, splat her! Then talk to the robot.

Uzolan will tell you through the Uzocom 2000 installed in the robot that he is trapped in his workshop by a bunch of mad clowns, and that he would love to help you. But first you have to rescue him from the clowns.

Enter the workshop. There are a bunch of clowns in there. If you use ranged attacks, you can fight them one at a time. They might stun you if they get close enough.

After you have beaten all the clowns, go talk to Uzolan. He is trapped in a force field box. He tells you to destroy the Turbo Buzzers, then he can get out.

While destroying the Turbo Buzzers, they will zap you. Also monsters such as Toy Golems and Illusionary Swordsmen will spawn. Logan is pretty useless in this fight, so don't count on him. At some stage, the big golem called the Uzolan 7000 will activate and start attacking. This bot is immune to control, so you can't knock it back, net it, etc. It has a whirlwind attack.

Once you have beaten up everything in the lab, go talk to Uzolan. He will say that the Ringmaster must be planning to build a Giant Grizwhirl and cause havoc! Logan is afraid that this will cause a riot, forcing the Seraph to kill everybody in Divinity's Reach. Logan and the player character agree that the Ringmaster must be stopped.








Upon entering the instance:

Logan Thackeray: This is the path to Uzolan's Workshop. From here on in, it's likely to get weird.

Talking to Logan before approaching Uzolan's workshop:

Logan Thackeray: I hate this crazy place. All these hidden corners and creepy toys. Give me a nice, straightforward battlefield any day.
Dignity Uzolan's inventions make a lot of people happy. They're pure entertainment. How can you hate that?
I guess the same way some people hate clowns. They're just kind of...creepy.
Talk end option tango.png You can be a little weird sometimes, Logan.
Ferocity If we flatten enough of these machines, we'll end up with a nice straightforward battlefield.
Whoa. You're right, but can be a little bit scary.
Talk end option tango.png I'm just kidding around. Come on, let's get this done.
Talk end option tango.png Let's get the job done so we can get out of here.

Approaching the enemy:

Hypnotized Carnival Performer: Come out, Uzolan! You can't hide in that talking box forever!
Hypnotized Carnival Performer: I've spotted the enemy.
Logan Thackeray: That goon was talking to this statue for some reason. We should take a closer look.

Talking to the Uzocom 2000:

Uzolan: Who's there? Not another one of those clowns, I hope. Have you come to rescue Uzolan the Toymaker? Or are you just looking for an autograph?
Talk quest option tango.png We've come to talk, Uzolan. Rescuing you is just the first step. You ARE Uzolan, right?
No, you dolt, I'm a perfect mechanical copy. Of course I'm Uzolan! I am speaking to you through my fantabulous Uzocom 2000. These clowns have trapped me inside my workshop. To be succinct...HELP!
Talk quest option tango.png We're here to find out more about your invention, the grizwhirls. What can you tell us?
Nothing. At least, not while I'm trapped in my workshop! I'll be happy to tell you all about the Floating Grizwhirl, just as soon as you GET RID OF ALL THESE CLOWNS THAT ARE TRYING TO KILL ME!
Talk quest option tango.png Settle down. We'll solve this clown problem for you, and then we'll talk.
Talk end option tango.png We'll get rid of the clowns, and then we'll ask you some questions.

Engaging the first enemies in workshop:

Logan Thackeray: I'm starting to see why some people hate clowns!

Whenever defeating a carnival performer:

Hypnotized Carnival Performer (male): Ugh, my head.
Hypnotized Carnival Performer (female): Hey, was somebody just hitting me?

Approaching the two enemies in front:

Hypnotized Carnival Performer: I never go swimming. I've seen too many people pulled under by skales and drakes.
Hypnotized Carnival Performer: Ahh, don't worry about it. Aquatic beasts never eat clowns.
Hypnotized Carnival Performer: Why not?
Hypnotized Carnival Performer: We taste funny.

Approaching the three enemies near the Uzotron 3000:

Hypnotized Carnival Performer: Ooh, look at the shiny turret! I love shiny!
Hypnotized Carnival Performer: Do you love dying? 'Cause that thing killed the last two fools who messed with it.

Approaching the two downed clowns:

Hypnotized Carnival Performer: Ow! Watch it, that thing's live!
Hypnotized Carnival Performer: It burns!

Approaching Big Top Bruno:

Big Top Bruno: All right, Mr. High-and-Mighty Inventor! I'm about to prove that your brains are no match for my bombs!
Uzolan: What? With that tiny little firecracker? Don't make me laugh.
Big Top Bruno: Tiny? This is my biggest cannonball! It even explodes on command. All I have to say is "Bomb go boom—"

Talking to Uzolan inside the force field:

Uzolan: And that was Big Top Bruno, the Human Cannonball. Almost as intelligent as his namesake. Take a bow, Bruno.
Talk quest option tango.png We're here to rescue you. Are you all right?
Some rescue! The only thing saving my neck from those madmen is this force field that I built to protect my blueprints from thieves—a force field which has been my prison for hours now.
Talk quest option tango.png We'll get you out, don't worry. What did the carnies want?
Considering the drivel they kept shouting, I imagine they wanted the schematics for one of my astonishing inventions. I'm famous, you know. Uzolan the Inventor.
Talk quest option tango.png We're here about your Floating Grizwhirls. The carnival's using them as mind-control devices.
I'll help you once I'm free. The Turbo Buzzers around the room should overload the force field if you destroy them. But be warned: I've installed electrifying countermeasures for would-be vandals.
Talk quest option tango.png All right. Sit tight, inventor. We'll have you out in a second.
Talk end option tango.png I'll ask you about it later.
Talk end option tango.png I need a moment. I'll be back later.

Talking to Uzolan before destroying the turrets:

Uzolan: Talking to me is not as important SAVING ME FROM THE THINGS THAT ARE TRYING TO KILL ME!

After destroying the Turbo Buzzers:

Uzotron 7000: Intruders—detected. Activating—birthday—entertainment—protocols.
Uzolan: You've activated the Uzotron 7000! We're all dead, doomed by my own genius! How poetic!

Cutscene when speaking to Uzolan:

<Character name>: All right. We freed you. Now, tell us about the grizwhirls.
Uzolan: Mmm. The grizwhirls temporarily render the weak-willed susceptible to suggestion. They make any party thirty-three percent more fun. The Ringmaster loved it! He was very complimentary—at first.
<Character name>: We think the Ringmaster is planning something big.
Uzolan: I'm not surprised. He asked many questions about increasing the grizwhirl's power and range. He wanted the schematics, but I refused—on principle!
<Character name>: Could he modify the grizwhirls you made? Maybe use a super-powered version to affect a large group of people?
Uzolan: Yes. He's clever enough to pull that off, and if that's his plan, he'll probably do it at the circus's next big show, when his audience will be as vast as possible.
Logan Thackeray: Great Kormir, he could incite a full-scale riot. The Seraph would have to respond with force. It'd be a bloodbath. We've got to stop him.

Talking to NPCs after the cinematic:

Uzolan: When you catch that Ringmaster fellow, give him a good kicking for me. Imagine! Trying to steal my invention and start a riotous bloodbath...without giving me credit!
Talk end option tango.png The Ringmaster will get what he deserves.
Logan Thackeray: We have to be ready to move on the Ringmaster as soon as he starts his next big show. Are you prepared?
Talk end option tango.png I will be. See you then, Captain.

My story[edit]

Salt in the Wound.jpg

I made my way to Uzolan's workshop. Unfortunately, the Ringmaster's hypnotized carnies arrived before I did. I defeated them and rescued Uzolan. The inventor told me that the Ringmaster is planning to use his grizwhirls to brainwash the masses at the next big performance in Divinity's Reach.

My story


  • The carnival performer that says "Ow! Watch it, that thing's live!" has a male voice, but a female model.
  • Bruno's text says "I'm about to prove" while the audio says "I'm going to prove"