Mad Mardine

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Mad Mardine is a charr scientist doing research about cows and their innate affinity to being hurled out of a catapult. Players can find him along with his assistant Tigh Snatchskull and the cattlepult outside the northeastern side of the Town of Nageling. According to Forex Dawnswift at Rancher's Wash, Mad Mardine has got crazy notions about shooting food safely into a siege-bound fort.

Location[edit]

Ascalon

Event involvement[edit]

Event shield (tango icon).png
Defend Mad Mardine's cows from harpies while he tests his invention (20)

Items offered[edit]

Item Type Rarity Level Cost
Golden Cowbell.png Cow Bell Accessory CFine 20 2 Silver coin 40 Copper coin
Golden Cowbell.png Cow Bell Accessory DMasterwork 20 4 Silver coin 80 Copper coin

Dialogue[edit]

You're not suited to being a test subject for the cattlepult, but I may have something of interest for you. For the right price, of course. Interested?
(if carrying Flying Cow Tokens)
I'm afraid you're not suited to be a test subject for the cattlepult, but I see you have some of my cow tokens. Want to trade?
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Yeah. Show me what you have.
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Test subject?
Yeah. I need large, live ammunition for the cattlepult. I'm trying to determine what it would take to survive being tossed. I'm so close to a solution, I can almost taste it.
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Okay. I have a question.
What do you want to know?
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Where do you get your test subjects?
My assistant brings them to me. He should be on his way. I hope he hurries.
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Where did he go?
I sent him to Dawnright Estate to acquire more cattle. There's no need to go chasing after him. He's not as bright as I am, but he can handle escorting cattle.
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Let me ask you something else. (same as "Okay. I have a question.")
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I'll wait. I want to see this thing in action.
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I have another question. (same as "Okay. I have a question.")
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I'll wait. I want to see this thing in action.
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What are you doing out here?
I'm in the midst of conducting very important research. The cattlepult is on the verge of a breakthrough.
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How did you come up with this idea?
I was once stationed inside a fort that was under siege for four weeks. We held off the enemy with everything we had. The enemy got so desperate they started hurdling cattle over the walls of the fort.
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Tell me more.
The cattle were actually a sign of relief for us. Our food storage had been depleted. The meat was delicious, and it reenergized us, but it started to rot pretty quick. We overtook them a week later.
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Then what did you do?
After the battle ended, flying cows started haunting me in my sleep. If the cows had survived after being catapulted, we could have beaten the enemy days sooner. Weeks, if we had gotten some earlier.
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So, how did you end up here?
I chose to build the cattlepult here because this location provides the best use of space, and the locals leave me to my research. As you can see, the cattlepult is portable. It can be moved anywhere, anytime!
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Let me ask you something else. (same as "Okay. I have a question.")
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Good luck with your research.
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Let me ask you something else. (same as "Okay. I have a question.")
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Incredible! The cattlepult will be a success.
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Let me ask you something else. (same as "Okay. I have a question.")
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That's amazing! Good luck with your research.
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Let me ask you something else. (same as "Okay. I have a question.")
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Interesting. Keep up with your research.
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Let me ask you something else. (same as "Okay. I have a question.")
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I'm sure it is. Take care.
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What is this "cattlepult" exactly?
You haven't heard of the cattlepult? It's a very promising invention designed to launch cows to our troops in besieged territories. I am its creator!
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How does it work?
It's quite simple. Lower the launch pod and open the hatch door. Insert the cow, close the hatch, and then fire away! The tricky part is calculating the correct force needed to launch the cow.
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What needs to be done with the cattlepult?
For the cattlepult to be a success, the cows must be able to reach the appropriate distance and survive after launch. There are many variables left to consider before I can find the correct formula.
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Let me ask you something else. (same as "Okay. I have a question.")
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Keep trying.
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Let me ask you something else. (same as "Okay. I have a question.")
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Sounds like you've got it all figured out.
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Let me ask you something else. (same as "Okay. I have a question.")
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That sounds crazy. Good-bye.
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Nothing. Good luck with your research.
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Good luck with that.
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No, but I have some questions for you. (same as "Okay. I have a question.")
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No thanks. I need to go.
During Defend Mad Mardine's cows from harpies while he tests his invention
Keep these infernal harpies away from my cattle! I can't complete my tests without them.
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I'll take care of the harpies.

Notes[edit]