Kookoochoo's Fire-Breathing Show

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Kookoochoo's Fire-Breathing Show was an event that occurs in Labyrinthine Cliffs for the Bazaar of the Four Winds and the Festival of the Four Winds releases. The Fire-Breathing show was performed on a stage in the area before one reaches the Zephyr Sanctum. Watching the show (standing in the vicinity of the stage) granted the player the Kookoochoo the Incredulous achievement. The show started once per hour, approximately at the start of the hour (according to game time). The star of the show was a blue quaggan by the name of Kookoochoo the Incredulous. The show was preceded by the arrival of 6 Zephyrites and 4 Strangers.


  • Stand near the stage area during the last portion of the show


Kookoochoo, and his assistant, on stage in Labyrinthine Cliffs

Quaggan, walking from his tent, takes the stage

Kookoochoo: BooOOoogie!
Kookoochoo: (huff) Quaggan is allergic to exercise. (laugh)
Kookoochoo: Coo. You're going to like this.
Kookoochoo: Here's quaggan's impersonation of the hooman mating ritual.

Quaggan is briefly shakes violently, then is motionless

Kookoochoo: Thank you. Thank yooou.
Kookoochoo: Quaggan will now perform a backflip!

Quaggan flops onto his belly

Kookoochoo: Thank you!
Kookoochoo: This is quaggan's impersonation of the famous asuran genius Snaff in his last moments.

Quaggan is shakes and quivers

Kookoochoo: (laugh)
Kookoochoo: Doot doo dooo! Welcome to the show. Quaggan's assistant will make introductions.
Kookoochoo's Assistant: (clear throat) Gather around, ladies and lords, for the most fandoodling, caniboodling show you'll ever see.
Kookoochoo's Assistant: Give a big round of applause for the prince of portly prestidigitation, the baron of blundering bewitchment, the king of -
Kookoochoo: Ahem.
Kookoochoo's Assistant: Right. Ladies and laddies, allow me to introduce Kookoochoo the Incredible!
Kookoochoo: Incredulous.
Kookoochoo's Assistant: What?
Kookoochoo: It's Kookoochoo the Incredulous.
Kookoochoo's Assistant: Right. Kookoochoo the Incredulous!
Kookoochoo's Assistant: I don't think that means what he thinks it means.

Kookoochoo's Assistant leaves the stage

Kookoochoo: How many of you have seen a dragon?
Kookoochoo: Quaggan is half dragon, on quaggan's mother's side, at least that's what quaggan's father used to say. (chuckle)
Kookoochoo: Apparently, quaggan's mother was also a witch and a...ooh. Little ears in the audience.
Kookoochoo: You there. What's your name?
Urchin: Rufus.
Kookoochoo: RooOOoofus. Are you a quaggan?
Urchin: (laugh) No. I'm a charr.
Kookoochoo: Ooh, phew. That explains the fur.

Urchin takes the stage

Kookoochoo: Rufus, quaggan has a job for you. Are you interested?
Urchin: Um, yeah. What is it?
Kookoochoo: See that bucket? Quaggan's going to breathe fire again. If quaggan ignites anyone, you throw water on them. OK?
Urchin: Yeah, OK.
Kookoochoo: (laugh) Gentlefolk, your lives are in Rufus's hands.
Kookoochoo: Prepare yourselves.
Kookoochoo's Assistant: Yeah! Make it burn, my chubby buddy!
Kookoochoo: WooOOooo! And that's just quaggan's morning breath!
Kookoochoo: Hey, Rufus. Can quaggan ask you a personal question?
Urchin: I guess so.
Kookoochoo: Have you ever wished you were a dragon?
Urchin: I don't know.
Kookoochoo: What if quaggan could turn you into a dragon? What would you do?
Urchin: I guess I'd fly around and eat cows.
Kookoochoo: Charr...Beef...Quaggan shoulda seen that one coming.
Kookoochoo: All right, Rufus. Quaggan thinks you're ready to be a dragon. Quaggan's going to give you a secret.
Kookoochoo: Pssspssssppss pssssppsss. Got it?
Urchin: Got it!
Kookoochoo: Gracious audience, it takes a great deal of focus to release one's inner dragon. Let's encourage Rufus!
Kookoochoo's Assistant: Ru-fus! Ru-fus! Ru-fus!
Kookoochoo: Do it just like quaggan said.
Urchin: (big belch)
Kookoochoo: (laugh)
Kookoochoo: Okay, that was just the practice one. Let's try again and this time, quaggan will do it with you, okay?
Urchin: Okay.
Kookoochoo: On three. One. Two...
Kookoochoo: Two and a half.
Urchin: (giggle)
Kookoochoo: Three!

Both Kookoochoo and Rufus breathe fire

Kookoochoo: WoooOOOoo! Not a hair was singed on little Rufus's head...or face...or body.
Kookoochoo: And now, quaggan must go. Quaggan's assistant will deliver a heartfelt good-bye.
Kookoochoo's Assistant: Kookoochoo the Incredulous will be here throughout the bazaar! We welcome the sounds of clapping hands and jingling coins.
Kookoochoo's Assistant: Good day to you all!

Kookoochoo's Assistant takes the stage

Kookoochoo's Assistant: Wow! Now that's magic!

Kookoochoo leaves for his tent behind the stage

Various quotes after talking to Kookoochoo while he walks to his tent:

Kookoochoo: Hoo. Did you catch quaggan's show? There'll be another sooOOoon.
Kookoochoo: Stand back now. Quaggan could explode at any moment.
Kookoochoo: Quaggan is Kookoochoo the Incredulous. Hoo.




  • The banner, written in New Krytan, says: "The one, the only, Kookoochoo the Incredulous".
  • "I don't think that means what he thinks it means," may be a reference to The Princess Bride.